I have a few different love languages. One is value and gift sets from Sephora. Another love language is Sister Act 2. My third love language is what brings us here today: Building things out of food.
I. LOVE. MAKING. THINGS. OUT. OF. FOOD.
Luckily, I have my editors here to thank for indulging me in this particular love by saying, “go buy some food kits Ibi, and we’ll reimburse you and you can tell us how it went.” Because ya’ll, over this this month and the next….WE ARE GOING TO BUILD SOME THINGS. OUT OF FOOD.
This week’s project: building a gingerbread turkey using the handy dandy Gingerbread Turkey Kit from Trader Joe’s (It’s also available from our affiliate Amazon at a stupid price if you need it shipped.)
The kit comes with everything you need, with the exception of 1 egg white and some vinegar or lemon juice for the frosting.
Now you should know that I have three parameters that are important to me in deciding which project to attempt and I will take you through each of them.
1) Timeability:. How long does it take to decorate, assemble, and build said project? Is the time well spent, or does it draaaaaag?
2) Lookatitness: What’s it look like when I finish? Is it busted? Is it cute? Is it busted AND cute? Do I care?
3) Delicousity: How does it taste? (Everyone who has kids knows that one of them is a Taster. In my family It’s me. I’m The Taster. #tastersunite). Is it ok to let The Taster taste The Thing, or should The Taster be warned that The Thing tastes like old balloons and broken dreams?
So did Mortimer, my TJ’s gingerbread turkey, hit all of three of my requirements? Well..
1) Timeability Rating: 5 Gumdrops
I did make a couple of rookie mistakes reminding me once again that we should all read the instructions first. Then read them again. As in, I decorated some pieces before I’d attached them and that made some of the final assembly a bit dicey so that added a little time.
Also know that you have to wait for some parts to dry. Overall, build time was about 1 Barbie Christmas movie and one fun animated holiday special. Total: About 2 hrs and 15 minutes.
I was able to sneak in a nap while I was waiting for the big pieces to dry together but if you’re wrangling kids, I’d say it’s a good amount of time to keep them occupied, but not so long that they’ll get bored or frustrated.Try some non-food Thanksgiving crafts while you wait.
2.) Lookatitness Rating: 5 Gumdrops
I mean… LOOK AT HIM. JUST LOOK AT HIM. Does he look like the picture on the box? NO. Does it look like the pictures from professional food blogger and stylists online? NO. Do I care? NO.
This is Mortimer and I love him, okay?
I should disclose that I took a turkey cookie decorating class last year and my eyes are not ministry, but I’m practically an expert on everything else. Clearly.
3.) Deliciosity Rating: 2.5 Gumdrops
Okay, so, I would say Mortimer was not tasty. At all. Don’t be fooled by how soft the gingerbread pieces are right out of the box and how good it smells.
However the fruit snacks are tasty (they’re always tasty), the not-M&Ms are … there. The icing is tasty. But I also love icing. (If your Taster is a kid, remember there’s a raw egg in there.) But you may want to have some extra confectioners sugar on hand in case your initial frosting batch is too thick, then too thin, like mine.
The kit should have also included more gummy pieces. There are never enough.
Final Trader Joe’s Gingerbread Turkey Funoscity Rating: 4.5 Gumdrops.
Overall, I’d rate the experience a solid 4.5 because anything with enough candy and sugar on it still tastes like candy and sugar no matter what, and it was so much fun to make.
Grab a pack and assemble it while sip some nog or start while tuning into the first of your daily 4-5 Christmas movies for the season. Or is that just me?